Before 30 Years Old - YOU MUST READ by DARA LY

Introduction

I was enrolled in public school at the age of 5 years old. I had to go through all the classes to complete the K12 education. I spent the next 4 years in university, and my graduation year was 2015, but it was 2020 when my real education began.

After spending 17 years in many schools, I learned that my real education did not stop even when I had finished formal education. It’s only the beginning. This book is a summary of my life before 30 years old. You will learn more about the stories of my life in four parts.

Part 1 will tell you about my childhood memories and some fears that most kids would have.

Part 2 will give you some ideas about my background and some stories about my family too.

Part 3 will show you what it's like for a country boy to live in the city.

Part 4 will walk you through the big pictures and details of my life, and it will show you my blueprint for the future as well.

Last but not least, the conclusion will remind you of a few things about life and how to deal with it.

Good luck, My Reader!

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Contents

Legal Note

Acknowledgements

Dedicated to DARA LY Books Fans!

About the Author

Introduction

Part 1: Before 12 Years Old_________________1

Part 2: Before 15 Years Old________________14

Part 3: Before 20 Years Old________________32

Part 4: Before 30 Years Old________________72

Conclusion____________________________112

PART 1

Before 12 Years Old

˜˜˜˜ The Childish Fears! ˜˜˜˜

 

1

The 1^st Fear

A Ghost

Since I was young, a ghost had always been my first fear. I feared a ghost every night. I got scared of the dark. At home, there was a room unused for the most part, and at night I never dared to look inside that dark room. Sometimes I imagined a shadow that was watching me. That scared the heck out of me.  

I had to take a bath at 6 PM when the sky was still bright. Dark sky meant time for a ghost to show up, I believed. Taking a bath was a big problem, but it’s tiny compared to the time of darkness. The wind was cold, and you could hear a creepy sound at times.

I wasn’t unlike most other boys from my village. We got scared of anything we didn’t understand. We didn’t know what the dogs were talking about, but we assumed that they were seeing a ghost, so they told one another.

My house was near the stream, and that place was considered frightening. You can imagine a place so dark that you couldn’t see anything, but all you could see was the banana leaf dancing with the wind. At first, you didn’t think that it was only a banana leaf, right? Yeah, me too! You carried the bamboo stick, pointing at the ghost to scare it away. But the one who’s scared was you. I mean, myself!

Sometimes you were so scared of the invisible ghost that you pretended to be angry. You tried to shout and be mad at anything you could find. Maybe a dog. Maybe a cat. Maybe anything!   

That fear had stayed with me till I was about 22 years old. Nevertheless, it also taught me a lot of things. One of them was to never fear anything that you never see. I know, I would have been lying if I had said that to myself many years ago.

Now I only fear one thing: NOTHING!

2

The 2^nd Fear

The Violence

My second fear was violence. I was a big kid, but I was not willing or happy to fight against other kids. I wasn’t sure whether it was cowardice or the discipline from my family that I chose not to use the violence. However, violence didn’t leave me alone. Sometimes I had to face it. 

Occasionally, I was stupid enough to get beaten up when I tried to rescue other kids from the bullies. What was I thinking at that time? What a stupid kid I was!

My friend Panha and I frequently talk about our childhood, and we talk about the time when the older kids forced the younger ones to fight against one another. We talk and laugh at how stupid we were to be told to do such a thing. Back then, it was a normal thing. Lucky for me, I was a huge kid, so few people wanted to mess with me. Still, there were many cases of violence that took place. Some were even scary.

People in my hometown liked to celebrate. Believe me, you could always hear the horn loudspeaker playing noisily throughout the place. People got married, and they celebrated their wedding feast. The late-night dance at the wedding feast usually attracted many people as well as the gangsters. I heard that the members of the gangs never met anyone they didn’t hate. In other words, they just enjoyed beating someone when they saw one.

I had never witnessed the gang fight, honestly, but it sounded scary enough for me to fear this kind of violence. I did everything I could to avoid it. I guess this might be one of the reasons I didn’t join any groups of gangs. I had always been an outsider, and I wasn’t sure whether I should be happy or upset about it. Well, at least, I was safe.   

Violence was the big news for young boys, and I was not an exception. Many people talked about it, and it was fascinating to hear, but the ugly part was scary. The blood. The broken ribs. And all those things. As a young boy, I was terrified and curious at the same time.

The lesson should be: Violence is not advisable for anyone.       

 

3

The 3^rd Fear

The School

My third fear was school. School was scary to me, and I never liked going to school. As a first-grade student, the idea of going to school was like going to the graveyard. Don’t get me wrong. A school was not a graveyard. However, the school where I attended was located near the graveyard filled with many graves, enough to scare me.

I thought to myself: “What if they come for me? Look at that spot. Maybe a ghost stays on the roof? Is he watching me now?”

A ghost was scary, yet it wasn’t the end of the story. I didn’t want to go to school because I didn’t have many friends, and that was the second reason. It’s hard to find a good friend, and it’s even harder to keep one. I sensed that many people disliked me, so I learned to stay away from them, and from the school. Why would you want to go to a place where nobody liked you? Right? That’s how I felt. The fear of school had stayed with me for many years.  

As a third-grade student, I felt that I disappointed my teacher when I was lazy. Believe me, I was always lazy. When my teacher asked me to note down the lesson at home, I was lazy. When he told me that I must study a lot more, I was too lazy to study. When he invited all the students to join a yearly party with many kinds of yummy food, I was too lazy to…

Okay, I wasn’t too lazy to join the party. As a kid, I never said no to tasty Khmer noodles. I ate so much and so fast that my teacher became a little concerned about me. By that, I mean, very concerned!

He said: “Take it easy. There’s plenty of food available. No need to rush. Or the noodles would come out of your nose.”    

Even though [primary] school was scary most of the time, I had learned a few things which were good, and still are to this day.

One idea which is very dear to my heart is: Respect the teachers! All of them!

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4

The 4^th Fear

At Home

My fourth fear was home. It might come as a surprise to hear that I feared my own home, right? I mean, the guy who works from home used to fear his own home? That doesn’t make any sense, does it?

Well, back in the old days, home was anything but safe. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a safe place with the roof and everything you need in order to survive, of course. I feared what would happen to me at home when I hung out too often. I worried about getting whipped. That was the most fearsome thing any kid could fear, right? Same here.

My mother and grandmother were fair but didn’t tolerate disobedience and unruliness at home. They expected everybody to listen and follow the rules. I was a stubborn kid, and I usually forgot to listen to them. I broke many rules, intentionally or unintentionally. By nature, I had always been an iron-willed kid, so very few things could stop me from doing what I wanted to do. That meant I would get reprimanded or punished for my own actions. For a kid, this kind of character was a flaw, in the eyes of the elder. Nevertheless, my father did not show any sign of disapproval of my actions. I felt that he had been secretly supporting me even though he did not say anything.

I remember one time when my dad and I were on our way to the farm. It was the rainy season, and the flood was all over the place. For a kid, the flood is like Christmas. I was excited to see water everywhere. I knew how to swim, although not too well. I mean, I could only swim like a rat, if you want to know the truth. I was a self-taught swimmer, so to speak. Nobody taught me, and clearly, somebody had to remind me to stay away from the floodwater. My mother!

She didn’t allow me to swim anywhere, any time. She was afraid that I would drown. Even worse, she said that the flood could bring many crocodiles, and they would eat me if I didn’t listen to her. I wasn’t sure which one was scarier. Getting drowned or being a delicious snack for a croc? If I had to be honest, I would say that only the fear of getting whipped could stop me from swimming. At least, for the time being.

Anyway, I wasn’t the only one who wanted to swim. My younger brother shared the same excitement about the flood, and, like me, he was a self-taught swimmer. Needless to say, getting whipped because of swimming too! 

Prek Promean was our favorite place to swim. Boy, did we like going there. My cousin (Senghong) and I used to go there together too. A pond in front of my grandmother’s farm was our second favorite swimming pool. Yeah, to us, it’s better than anything else. And it’s safer too. My brother, my cousin, and I would swim in that small pond all day long if we could.

There was one rule for all swimmers: Never let your mother find out about this! Or she’ll whip the mud out of you!    

I followed this one rule all the time. No doubt about that! I couldn’t say the same thing about my cousin nor my brother. They used to get a sweet punishment. Yeah, too sweet! I was either luckier or a little smarter!

By the way, I also felt lucky when I was with my dad because he let me swim as long as I wanted. On our way to the farm, dad said to me: “Stay here and swim.”

I was thinking to myself: “Wait, are you serious, Pop?”

After my dad had left to the farm alone, I wasted no time swimming with other kids. I was happy on that day, and to this day, I still remember it. My dad was (and still is) a loving father and very supportive too.

He was also a peaceful person, I could see that with my own eyes. One day, as I remember, my grandma and my mom were whipping me near my dad’s working desk. He didn’t even look at me. He was busy checking his student exam papers while I was screaming for my life. Well, I was screaming almost every day.

I hung out almost every day. That’s why.

5

The 5^th Fear

The Craziness

My fifth fear was craziness. You heard me! In my village, there was a mentally-ill person named Grandpa Seng. Rumor had it that he used to be a scholar before he became insane due to some unknown reasons. 

I used to be scared of him because a kid got scared of anyone he didn’t understand. Back then, I never understood why Grandpa Seng acted abnormally, so I got scared of him. Honestly, he seemed like a harmless person. He smiled at anybody or anything, and that’s the weird part that got me afraid.  

It’s also funny when two neighbors had the same name, Seng. One man was mentally ill, while another one was a wealthy and respectable man. To me, they were the same because they looked at me and smiled! Still, I was told that one man was crazy, and I should run away from him if I didn’t want to get hurt. What did I know? I just accepted that suggestion without question, so I ran when I saw Grandpa Seng.

Even if I kept running from him, the idea of being crazy never ceased to scare me. It kept haunting my mind till I became an adult. Many years had gone by, and I wasn’t thrilled about the idea that I would become crazy because of studying. Geez, many people had said the same thing about it. They liked to say: “Don’t study too much, or you’ll become crazy someday.”

I feared that idea, and always worried that I would go insane someday. Now my view about the craziness has changed. I no longer fear it, nor will I allow it to distract me from greatness.

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